How do we actually become the people we want to be?
This has been a question I have been asking, on behalf of my clients and myself, for over twenty years now …
And, thankfully, during these many years of client conversations and workshops, academic research and writing, and professional teaching and learning, I have found some answers …
I always like to challenge myself to learn and grow – for my benefit and the benefit of the people I serve – so this year in my Transformation Support Community Online Program, when we do our customary start-of-year goals, values, habits, and identity setting work, I’m going to make the series as ‘therapy like’ as possible.
This means exploring the practical application of the principles we talk about, troubleshooting the natural barriers that arise (which is often the most important work!), and exploring all of the nuances and exceptions to the rules …
I am so enjoying creating this ‘rubber hits the road’ masterclass for my online community members, that I wanted to share some of my clinical insights with YOU.
So, without further ado, please find my five top tips for reaching your goals and becoming who you want to be in 2024. I’ll share the tips themselves, some links so you can delve further into any topics that peak your interest, and a little therapy-like insight that may have previously been reserved for my one-on-one clients, but now I’m intent on sharing with you!
Here are the tips, for you to take, leave, or adapt as you see fit … as always, the important thing is that you change in a way that is right for you …
1: Reach Your Goal(s)
Unfortunately, many people shoot themselves in the foot by setting goals that are unclear, unrealistic, and unsustainable from the get go – if this happens the seeds of sabotage are woven into the core of your garden of change. So the first pointer is not to do this! I have spoken about how you can set meaningful, holistic, and sustainable goals in a way that transcends self-sabotage before, and if you’d like to learn more about how you can do this, please watch this video!
But the tip I really wanted to share with you, which I’ve learned from my clients this year, is that you don’t have to have heaps of goals. In our goal-setting process, we often encourage people to set up to four goals, but this year, I’ve had dozens of clients and online community members who have smashed it out of the park just having one or two. Life is full of things that take up our energy, attention, and effort, so for many of us, there’s only enough left for one or two major self-improvement goals. If that’s the case for you, please take this as encouragement to honour your reality. Sometimes less is more.
2: Nourish Your Body
Of course, if you want to become healthier, nutrition is going to be an important ingredient! So, to help you nourish your body in 2024, here’s our online community dietitian Courtney Brooker’s favourite nutrition tip on how to stay full and satisfied!
But the tip I wanted to share with you is that nutrition is often important no matter what you want to achieve! As an example, I have been working with a client who has been balancing a huge workload and a busy family life, with the recent addition of some meaningful study. Although she is maintaining a happy weight for her, we decided that an extra focus on nutrition would help her create the energy, resilience, and focus to juggle all of these balls. Whatever your journey of change looks like, it’s probably a long one, so it’s important to be all fuelled up for it!
3: Live Your Values
Where goals (what we want to achieve) are often the loudest voice in the ‘New Year’s Resolution’ cacophony, values (what matters to us) are definitely well worth keeping in the conversation. Values – what we want to stand for, prioritise, and live in line with – are not shiny objects to strive towards in the future, they are the golden ingots of motivation that we already have inside of us. To learn more about values, and how unlocking them can set you up for a deeper level of success, please see this video!
Now, while clarifying your personal values may be incredibly powerful, it also takes a lot of brainpower. So my therapist’s tip is that you don’t always have to. A mainline to your values is how you feel, deep down – when we act in line with what matters to us, we feel good. So a simple hack, that is surprisingly effective, is just to do what makes you feel good, deep inside. As an example, I recently called a friend I’d taken some time to get back to, and I felt good about it – was I honouring a value of friendship, connection, or respect for others? I’m not quite sure, but I knew it was the ‘right’ thing for me to do. Sometimes we know what is right for us – deep down – even if we can’t put words to it …
4: Move Your Body
Of course, if you want to get fitter, movement is going to be a key focus! But while we know it’s good for us, it can be challenging to fit it in. So, to help you get moving in 2024, here’s our online community exercise physiologist Sarah Liz King’s favourite tip on how to sneak in more movement (and a free 10-minute mobility workout that you can do at home)!
Like with nourishing your body, my tip here is that movement can not only help with fitness, strength, and mobility goals, it often helps you to reach any goals you are looking to achieve – moving your body helps to improve your sleep, energy, attention, concentration, learning, decision making, and mood … what goal wouldn’t be better reached with these improvements? My favourite way to achieve it is to focus on the long-term. I encourage my clients and online community members to set movement goals for a whole year … and then enjoy watching them gradually grow and flourish over that longer time period (they also tend to enjoy the journey a lot more!). Sometimes we overestimate what we can do in a month, but underestimate what we can achieve in a year ☺
5: Redefine Yourself
Your self-identity, or ‘the way you see yourself’, is unbelievably important when attempting to reach your goals, live by your values, or change your habits. If you attempt any of these things, but you don’t change the way you see yourself, you will always end up returning to old habits that are in line with your old self-identity! If you would like to learn more about redefining yourself – including real life examples from my clients and myself – please read this blog.
My advice here is to expect this to be a back-and-forth process. Using myself as an example, in the blog mentioned above I talked about wanting to change my identity from that of ‘a workaholic with no time for fun’ to ‘a lifeaholic with a zest for fun!’. I am proud to say that a year down the track – with a lot of reflection, effort, and problem solving – I am a step ahead, and enjoying a better balance of work fun and non-work fun. But I am also wise enough to know that there are many more steps to take to become more like the ‘me’ I really want to be. The process of becoming someone new is far from linear.
I hope that you have found these tips helpful in some way, and please as always feel free to write to me with your opinions, reflections, and experiences of how they can benefit you.
And if you’d like me to personally support you to reach your goals, live out your values, create healthier eating and movement habits, change the way you see yourself, and much much more, please see the special invitation to join our most ‘therapy like’ webinar series yet below ☺
SPECIAL INVITATION TO LET ME SUPPORT YOU TO BECOME WHO YOU WANT TO BE
The ideas above are ‘food for thought’ to help you on your journey …
If you would like me – as your ‘therapist’ – to help you to put them into action, then I’d like to invite you to sign up to my 12-week Reach Your Goals & Become Who You Want to Be Masterclass, which is available to access now in our game-changing Transformation Support Community!
In this brand new masterclass, we cover everything we’ve talked about and more, as well as closely supporting you to apply the principles in a way that is right for you!
To help you become who you want to be, I’m offering all new members A 25% DISCOUNT AND A 7-DAY FREE TRIAL!
Whether or not you end up working with us, my wish for you is the same as it is for all of my clients and online community members in 2024. That you can learn and grow, and challenge yourself to transform in new ways, so that you really can turn all of your New Year’s hopes and dreams into reality …
Yours in transformation,