Discover the Benefits of Connecting with Your Body (with Psychologist Emma Furner)

The Body:
Our Often-Forgotten Friend

Hi there! My name is Emma Furner. You may recognize my name from Glenn’s last email about the limitations of ‘traditional therapy’. I work with him, and the rest of the wonderful team at Weight Management Psychology. I go by titles such as Senior Psychologist, Psychotherapist, and/or Trauma-Sensitive Yoga and Mediation Teacher. Not that I am really into titles, but they do provide a good starting point to the topic about to be discussed – a topic that is very close to home and heart and, as such, is one I will discuss in the context of my own personal experience. This is not something I do often or lightly, so I hope that it doesn’t come across as self-promoting or self-indulgent, but is received in the spirit it is offered – to help others understand just how this work can really help us on our quest for change or growth.

You see, for many years (close to around 20!) I have worked as a psychologist. Like most psychologists, I was initially trained in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and my practice focused heavily on helping people change their thoughts, feelings, behaviours, and the relationship between them. While I could see this approach benefitting many, I was also interested in offering something more ‘soulful’. By this stage in my life I had completed my Yoga Teacher’s Training, feeling that was it; but I was advised by ‘the powers that be’ that I couldn’t be both a psychologist and teach yoga! While this is fortunately not the case today, back then yoga as an intervention didn’t meet Western psychology’s standards on being evidence-based. Thankfully for me, though, along came Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) with its major theme of mindfulness-based practices. I dove headfirst into all approaches mindfulness-based – Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC), Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), and others. This ‘deeper’ mind-based work sustained me, my soul, and my practice for a number of years …

… Until the day I entered therapy myself!

I entered therapy for the first time at around age 32. I had just come out of a committed relationship with all too much awareness of, and regret about, how my ‘attachment issues’ had gotten in the way of true intimacy. The first therapist I saw largely worked within an ACT framework. She was pleasant enough to talk to, but I found it hard to get out of my head and stop thinking about the strategies she was using. I asked around and soon found a different psychologist, one who specialized in an experiential approach called Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP). What I didn’t know then, but certainly do now, is that the work we were to do together would forever change me: not only in terms of my own practice, but also my relationships, and, really, my entire life!

It all started with the often-quoted question, “How does that make you feel?” BUT, a simple follow-up that had me baffled came, “How do you feel that physically in your body?” Up to this moment, I had thought of myself as fairly self-aware – aware of my thoughts, feelings, and my body! After all, I had studied mindfulness, I was a trained yoga teacher, and I spoke about feelings on the daily! But for the life of me, I could not answer this question – how did I feel [insert any emotion] physically in my body? Ummmmmm [insert chirping crickets]! What I quickly came to realise was that I had been experiencing myself, indeed my whole life, largely through my MIND and had disconnected from my BODY.

It was reconnecting with my BODY – with all its subtle sensations, stored emotions, and wisdom – that truly transformed my life! It’s also the reason that I went on to train in somatic psychotherapy, trauma-sensitive yoga, and ISTDP myself; and the reason those titles that I mentioned earlier have become a little more important to me. I wanted to be able to support people in the way I had been supported, to help them reap the benefits that come with being more aware of and connected to the body. I wanted others to know:

There are many ways of becoming one’s happiest, healthiest, and most authentic self, and one way is through a resource already within your reach – within you, and your body! 

So, What’s In a Body?

Our bodies are with us from the moment we are born until the end of our lives, performing complex and incredible functions in between. They are there with us through every experience, triumph, and challenge, always offering something for us to listen to and learn from. Indeed, the body is forever offering:

1. Subtle Sensations. The body is a remarkable communicator, speaking to us through the language of sensations. These sensations can range from gentle nudges or whispers to powerful signals or shouts, providing valuable information that can be used to guide our daily lives.
2. Information About Physical Needs. The body communicates our basic physical needs, such as hunger, thirst, fatigue, and pain. These signals prompt us to take action to care for ourselves and maintain our well-being.
3. Automatic Responses. In times of danger or stress, the body reacts automatically, mobilising its resources to protect us. These physiological responses are essential for survival and help us to navigate challenging situations.
4. Emotions. Emotions are a physiological response only felt in the body, hence why we also refer to them as feelings. Feelings communicate our likes, dislikes, desires, needs, and wants to both ourselves and others. They can convey a wealth of information about our inner state and shape our interactions with the world.
   (It was this aspect of my body that I was completely out of touch with. Sure, I had thoughts about what I was feeling but they were just that – thoughts.)
5. Somatic Memories. It is now commonly held that the Body remembers what the Mind forgets¹. The body holds onto past experiences, including stressful and traumatic events, as somatic memories. These memories may linger in the body, waiting to be acknowledged, processed, and healed.
6. Instrument of Expression. Our bodies allow us to communicate, connect with others, and express ourselves in countless ways. Through gestures, facial expressions, and body language, we can convey our thoughts, emotions, and intentions, forging connections and building relationships with those around us.
7. Gateway to Experience. Our bodies enable us to experience the richness of life through our senses. From the taste of our favorite foods to the warmth of a hug from a loved one, our bodies serve as the conduit through which we perceive and engage with the world around us.
8. Truth. The body communicates truth, often revealing insights that may be difficult to acknowledge or confront. Its messages are honest and direct, serving as a compass for navigating life’s complexities.
9. Intuitive Guidance. The body can offer intuitive nudges and gut feelings, guiding our decision-making and actions from a place of deep inner knowing. By listening to these intuitive signals, we can tap into our innate wisdom and navigate life with greater clarity and authenticity.

Now, you may have read through these points and learned nothing new – of course the body is offering all of that! Despite the vital role our bodies play in our lives though, it’s easy to take them for granted, and even neglect them in our pursuit of other priorities – largely thinking and doing. It’s also incredibly common to become disconnected from our bodies through stress, pain, trauma, negative body image, and a range of other factors; or to become preoccupied with how our bodies look rather than how they feel or function. In fact, to be connected to our body in this modern world can now be considered the exception rather than the rule, and requires consistent conscious choice, practice, and even courage …

I invite you now, in this moment, to give it a try. Check in on yourself and your body:

What is it that you can feel? Where can you feel it? What does it feel like? What do you think it means? 

If you are like I was, these questions might have you stumped! Or perhaps you think, rather than actually feel the answer? Or perhaps you can confidently experience and answer all of the questions. Wherever you are on the continuum – well done! You have just made the choice to engage in a body awareness practice – the first step for all of us on the journey of connecting with your body. While the act of directing attention to your body itself can be beneficial, you may be interested to know just how much benefit can come from becoming truly connected with your body.

I have alluded to the many benefits I received and continue to receive, but let me be more specific. For me, in connecting with my body, I became acutely aware of my heightened level of stress and the factors contributing to it. I became aware of many hurts that hadn’t yet healed. I became uncomfortably aware of how much I was doing for others, dismissing myself and my needs in the process. I even became aware of how much I judged myself for setting boundaries, having certain feelings, and disliking certain situations. While facing these truths did indeed take courage, it enabled me to start building a life that prioritised myself; my needs, my wants, and my values. With this, I traded a busy beach location for the serene and tranquil bush where I now live. I left the stress of running my own private practice and joined Weight Management Psychology, where I’m now working with clients I love and projects that really matter to me! Being more connected to my body also helped to quieten the mind chatter that had been familiar to me for so long and ‘settle’ into what can be best described as presence and contentment. Most importantly I feel, being more connected to my body has opened me up to being the truest, most authentic version of me and enables me to have heart-felt connections with others I couldn’t have even conceived before learning to honour the wisdom that is within.

But, just as our bodies are unique, so too are the benefits that may come for each person in connecting to them. I shall, however, leave you with some of the common benefits of body-awareness and connection. And with them, I invite you to consider (with the mind and body) whether you could benefit from any of these:

• Improved sense of self and larger repertoire of responses to life²
• Reduced stress and anxiety³
• Improved ability to recognise and regulate emotions^4,5
• Increased resilience and coping skills^6,7
• Improved ability to cope with chronic pain^8,9
• Improved subjective well-being¹⁰
• Improved sleep quality^11,12
• Improved relationship with food^13,14
• Improved body image and self-esteem, fostering greater acceptance and appreciation of one’s body^15,16
• Overall, improved embodied self-awareness¹⁷ 

With much warmth in my body, I thank you for reading! I invite you to thank yourself and your body for doing so as well ❤️

And if you would like to courageously explore connecting with your body even further, please see the special invitation to join my upcoming webinar series – where I will guide you to experience the benefits for yourself – below ☺

Emma Furner
Senior Psychologist, Psychotherapist
Trauma-Sensitive Yoga & Meditation Teacher

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