I’m back to complete my mission to share the three most life-changing mindsets I believe we can cultivate.
I began with sharing the first one that instinctively came to mind, gratefulness.
And then I shared my trusty old friend, optimism.
Today, I’m going to complete the trifecta by sharing the newest mindset on my block, kindness.
So, how is it that kindness came to be in my top three mindsets that we can cultivate in life?
Well – to be completely honest – it started with a practicality.
My Transformation Support Community (TSC) members and I had decided to do our first ever ‘challenge’ series in 2025. A series for personal transformation that was light on theory and heavy on application (i.e., for people who knew what to do, but wanted support in making it happen!).
We were all equally excited about a program that could kick-start our healthy habits and simultaneously fearful that it would have some unwanted 12-week gym program vibes …
So, the first thing we cleared up is that this program – like all of our other programs – would never involve any of the triggering diet and gym culture stuff. No weigh-ins, food prescriptions, must-attend gym sessions, public sharing of results, or awards for ‘most transformed’ at the end – any challenges would be solely with oneself! (If you know the way we usually work, you’ll know this was a really easy decision) 🙂
The second thing we figured out was that we wanted the program to be truly holistic. Again, if we compare it to many gym programs – they may say ‘transform your mind, body, and spirit’ – but if you look at what is actually done, they are almost solely body focused. We were absolutely going to include the physical component – nutrition, movement, and sleep etc. – but we wanted to include the mental element as well – not just as an ‘add on’, but infused within the DNA of the program. So, as well as incorporating game-changing psychology, neuroscience, and habits principles into the physical component of the program, we wanted to have mindsets that we would also focus on cultivating.
Not only mindsets that would help us to improve our healthy habits, but mindsets that would have us feeling happier and healthier in and of themselves.
I wanted the mental element to be comparable in size to the physical element, and that meant we needed three mindsets.
And I wanted the mindsets to be global mindsets that helped with ALL OF LIFE, not just with creating healthier habits.
As I was putting the program together, I started noticing the kindness of the TSC members – towards each other and even towards me – I felt it, and it really resonated with the ‘spirit’ aspect of the program that we were wanting to emphasise, so kindness moved towards the top of the short list.
And then a personal experience sealed the deal.
My mum, who is one of the kindest people you will ever meet, decided to have a ‘girls weekend’, with some of her dearest friends from interstate and overseas.
This was special in that Mum is one of those people who does everything for everyone else, so it was really nice to have something happening that centered around what she wanted to do 🙂
Of course, she still wanted to ensure that her friends enjoyed themselves and were comfortable, and one problem was that there wasn’t enough room for all of them at her house!
So, after talking with her, I decided that I would have two of my ‘aunties’ crash with me for the weekend 🙂
The problem was, I didn’t have any space either.
I have a home office setup, so all of my ‘spare rooms’ are actually the Weight Management Psychology clinic offices!
But, no problem is insurmountable (remember, I’m an optimist!), so – with the hiring of some beds and a little TLC – I transformed my office consulting rooms into temporary accommodation for my Aunties Julie and Jenny …
(See these stories from my Instagram account)
While I knew that my mum would appreciate it, the thing that surprised me is how much I enjoyed having them.
I love my aunties, so I was expecting to enjoy their company, but I enjoyed the whole process of providing hospitality! I enjoyed making up their rooms, their appreciation for what was really a small favour, and playing host to these beautiful women who had been a part of my Mum’s life for so long, and had had me sleep in their rooms countless times from when I was a little baby. The joy was so visceral – I felt it so strongly – that kindness went to the top of the list of mindsets I wanted everyone to cultivate with a bullet!
The only thing I had to do was check out the research on kindness …
While the research on kindness is definitely more embryonic than that on gratitude or optimism, it is there. And – in a nutshell – it says that kindness makes us feel better – happier, more engaged, more connected, more accomplished, and even as though life is more meaningful¹,².
It also pointed towards a particular activity – counting kindness – that can make you feel all these types of better, within one week!
As the name suggests, you simply aim to be kinder to others, and ‘count’ your kindness by writing it down each time you are.
I decided to try it last week as I was shopping.
On the way to the shops I sat in traffic next to a beautiful old Ford Fairlane 500. In a little moment of bravery, I said to the driver ‘nice car!’, to which he replied ‘you too!’. We both were driving convertibles, and had a laugh – in the space of fifteen seconds we realised we were kindred spirits, and went our separate ways with a warm wave. To be candid with you, this uplifting shared moment was the highlight of my day – more so than anything I bought at the shops!
I was determined to count more kindness …
The second opportunity arose because of a stuff up! I went to use a voucher I’d gotten for Christmas. After spending over an hour in the store selecting my goodies (I am a very slow and considered shopper – the poor shop assistants haha!) I went to the checkout. As soon as I pulled out my voucher, the young man who was helping me said ‘Oh …’ due to a silly technicality I couldn’t use the voucher – he called head office and tried to advocate for me, but to no avail. I realized this was my second opportunity for kindness. I let the young man know that I appreciated his patience in helping me, and in trying to sort out my issue, and that I would buy the things anyway and he would get his commission. He was visibly relieved (I think a lot of customers must go off at him in these situations!), and I felt better for not making a huge deal out of it.
Interestingly, my kindness came with a big infusion of gratitude that I was in the financial situation where I could still get my goodies without needing the voucher! It seems these top three mindsets are all friends 🙂
The final situation came as I was leaving the car park.
I happened to pass a young woman in a Woolies uniform who was sitting in her car. I noticed that she was very close to a pole. I didn’t think too much of it, but suspected she had possibly dinged into the pole and was figuring out her next move. Leaving her to it – and not wanting to bother her, I went to my car … before realising there was possibly some more kindness to count. I returned and she was still there, still sitting in the car. Gently gesturing to see if she needed a hand, she opened the car door and started crying! She had indeed dinged her car, and needed a second set of eyes to help her leave the park without re-dinging it!
As we got her out of the park, I decided to offer a few reassuring words, telling her that I’ve dinged my car before in similar ways, and – while it sucked right now – in six months she’ll have forgotten about it. Interestingly, this act of kindness seemed to also come with a dash of optimism.
Driving home from my shopping trip, it dawned on me that opportunities for kindness are everywhere … and, if we embrace them, life is palpably happier.
And I definitely also discovered the secret sauce to the three mindsets – that they all work together to create a deliciously life enhancing dish! The recipe for myself, and my TSCers, and you if you’d like, was finally settled upon.
So, I’d encourage you to count your kindness for a day, or a week, or forever – and see the effect it has on your life.
Like me, you may be pleasantly surprised 🙂
Yours in kindness,
Glenn
P.S. If you’d like support with becoming kinder, as well as the other two transformational mindsets that we’ll be cultivating – as well as creating healthier habits like eating better, moving more, and improving your sleep – I want to invite you to join my upcoming 90-Day Transformation Challenge! It starts on June 2, and you can still access the exclusive Early Bird rates until Midnight Monday 26 May. In the program, I will personally support you to cultivate the mindsets and habits for a total transformation over 13 weeks (all for less than the cost of one psychology session with me!), so if you’re looking to totally transform your mind, body, and spirit during the middle of the year, now is the time to join! 🙂 🙂 🙂
1. Symeonidou, D., Moraitou, D., Pezirkianidis, C., & Stalikas, A. (2019). Promoting Subjective Wellbeing Through a Kindness Intervention. Hellenic Journal of Psychology, 16 (1), 1–21. https://doi.org/10.26262/hjp.v16i1.7888
2. Otake, K., Shimai, S., Tanaka-Matsumi, J., Otsui, K., & Fredrickson, B. L. (2006). Happy People Become Happier through Kindness: a Counting Kindnesses Intervention. Journal of Happiness Studies, 7(3), 361–375. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-005-3650-z
