We could all do with a confidence boost from time to time, couldn’t we? In this Thursday Therapy I answer a question about how to become more confident in yourself. Being a psychologist who has learned confidence myself, I’m in a great position to give 5 great tips as well as some further resources for those who want to dig a little deeper into gaining self-confidence!
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- Viewer question on learning to be more confident. [1:56]
- On being “afraid” to be confident. [2:31]
- Embracing confidence over cultural conditioning. [2:31]
- Confidence to do something comes from doing it. [3:14]
- On confidence relating to body image. [4:05]
- Why taking on the posture of a confident person actually works. [4:29]
- When to get help building confidence. [5:38]
- Parting thoughts on becoming more confident. [6:09]
Hi everyone, it’s Glenn Mackintosh, the weight psych, and today we’re answering a question on feeling more confident in yourself. Welcome to Thursday Therapy where I answer your questions on the psychology of eating, movement, weight and body image every two weeks. I’m extra excited at the moment because guy, I really love spreading these ideas with the everyday people and with health professionals but I’ve been really blessed and more so recently to be learning from some amazing people and I want to bring them to you. So, look forward to some interviews coming up, they won’t require any questions from you, I might ask you what you want to hear from these people but I’m going to be doing one-on-one interviews with some great people coming soon but anyway, for today, let’s get to answering Sally’s question on learning to feel more confident. Sally asks, “Hi Glenn I was wondering if you could give me some tips on being more confident in yourself?” Sally, this is an awesome question. I think we can all do with a boost in our confidence from time to time and I reckon I’m a great person to answer it as well as being a psychologist, I’m a super confident dude, that’s why I can kind of wear things like this but not really care what anyone else thinks, so I’m going to give you some really cool ideas as well as refer you to a few places if you want to go a bit deeper down the rabbit hole. My first tip is don’t be afraid to be confident. For a lot of us, growing up we have this societal conditioning that kind of tells us in some way that it’s not okay to be comfortable in our own skin, you know, in Australia we tend to fight for the underdog and we tend to cut down tall poppies and you may have in your cultural background some type of conditioning that kind of confuses being confident with being arrogant or being narcissistic or being up yourself. So, what I want you to do, at the very start, is if you want to be more confident let’s embrace that and learn be more confident. Okay, the next thing that I need you to know is that confidence to do something comes of doing it. So, both Libby and I talk to you about this in the last is a therapy when we were talking about getting confident to go to the gym, at some stage you’re going to have to be brave and step outside your comfort zone, you learn that everything’s okay, all those fears you had in your mind didn’t actually eventuate and then your comfort zone expands and it’s exactly the same principle whether it’s building confidence in relationships, confidence in your work life or anything else, confidence to do comes of doing, so be brave and take that step outside your comfort zone, your comfort zone will just get bigger and bigger and bigger and you’ll get a lot more confidence. For a lot of us, part of our confidence issue, is around these body concerns, so if that’s you, I’m going to direct you to a link week and sign up for our new e-book. In that e-book, we have an article called five simple steps to body acceptance. It’s like my favourite five tips that will really help you feel more confident in your own skin. A really great and very simple way to build confidence is to adopt the posture of a confident person. We’ve talked about this recently in one of our coffee breaks, where we talked about power poses, so if you want to look into that I’d really encourage you to do. It’s really, really cool but even if you’re not a really big power poser and you can’t see yourself doing that, you can just you know do little things like have a bit of a straighter back, almost those things that your parents would tell you when you’re a kid, you know take your hands out of your pocket, stand up tall, give a firm handshake, look people in the eye. I’ve been doing so much of this recently with people and it’s so simple and I tell you I’m a trained psychologist, so it’s my job to listen and you know see the worth in people but after weeks of doing this with people, I see them come in and they look at me for longer they have firmer handshakes and it’s just naturally, it’s so much easier for me to listen to them. I respond well to it and everyone else will too. The last thing I want to encourage you to do is to get support if you need it. This could come from your friends or family, it could come from professionals, it could come from the online space, it doesn’t even have to be a person it could be an online program or a book or a podcast. The thing is you don’t have to go it alone, it takes strength to get support and really whoever did anything truly great completely by themselves? So, guys thanks for being with me for another Thursday Therapy. If you want to go down any of those rabbit holes further, I’d really encourage you to or if not, just take these ideas of embracing your want to be more confident, it starts there. Doing to expand your comfort zone, just adopting those little postures you could give yourself kind of like a little reminder somewhere that just says, back straight or you know, this week I’m going to focus on looking people in the eye more or having a firmer handshake, just simple little things. The thing I want you to know is the building confidence is actually really simple, it’s not necessarily easy and it requires work but it definitely can be learned, so I want you to have a play around with these ideas and have a really confident couple of weeks, get back to me with some comments on how you’re doing, if you like this video give us a like if you haven’t already make sure you subscribe by clicking the button or subscribing on our web series and I will see you in another two weeks for another great video but until then you have a super self-assured couple of weeks.